(This post first appeared on my blog, Content is Queen Blogger)
“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts” – Albert Einstein
Sometimes, in life, we just need a change. We need to take a step back and think of what is and isn’t making us happy in our lives, what causes us stress, what the “toxins” are in our lives.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I was involved in a brain injury association. Well, it turned out to be a great experience, for a brief period of time. Do you ever just do something, with the best intentions in your heart, and realize that you are a good person, but sometimes you are so generous, too generous that you don’t realize how others are taking advantage of you?
I’ve been told numerous times by my friends, and by my mother that I am too giving of myself and that it’s going to get me in trouble. Well, this time it really did. And it took a bit of burnout to realize it.
I’m not putting down anyone in the organization or putting down the great work the organization does, I am just saying that my youthful energy, I felt was going to waste and at times, my voice wasn’t heard, I volunteered myself for one, two, three, four, too many tasks and of course, everyone thought I was super duper for it.
And why not? If someone is willing to do most of the work, why not let them do it??? I’m not saying others didn’t do anything, but let’s just say the board’s work was not evenly distributed. Maybe it has to do with the make up of the board. I don’t know.
So, after a very busy Fall 2011-Winter 2012-Spring 2012 and slow Summer 2012 I had enough. The idea of putting myself out there, attending more meetings, doing extra work was not me anymore.
If I can’t be true to me, I feel sick. I felt really tired. I was spending about 2 hours of my time to commute to meetings. I was the only one coming from that distance.
I spoke to my boss about how I felt. He reiterated what others said about me giving too much. He said “You are the type that gives 150%, instead of 100% or less”. Yeah.. well.. guilty as charged. He said he supported my decision. I spoke to my parents and boyfriend, decision was supported. It was time to send in a resignation and resign from the Board of Directors. So I did it. The reaction was sheer disappointment all around. Well, did I really expect that anyone would feel sorry for how I was feeling? Nope, they were disappointed.
I ran into a fellow board member this past week at a conference. He told me there is no bitterness, just disappointment and that they miss my creative input and ideas. Sorry to be self-serving here, but DUH.
I said one of the reasons I had to leave was that work itself was getting very busy, I wanted to focus on my career and my business, which I really do. How am I going to get where I want to be in life if I don’t do what’s good for me?
I am not by any means a selfish person. I am a giving person. But sometimes giving too much is exhausting. I am compassionate. Right now though, I have to show myself compassion.
My mom and I have this saying we text each other when we are having a day, that we love, we found it in the book, “The Help”: “You are kind. You are smart. You are important.”
Tell yourself this every time you are down, you are in doubt and you need a pick me up.